Isn't love a fickle thing? Or even just love interests... they change from day to day...

I find the whole "dating game" is exciting and at the same time quite stressful. My approach to the whole thing may be to blame for the latter. Over time I've realized that I have a tendency to be attracted to those that seem hard to get, or even the ones that seem unattainable. This poses a challenge for me and, in life in general, I love to take on challenges. I once discussed this with a coworker of mine, and she said, "I like to be the one being pursued, not be the pursuer". Well... who doesn't. But if I were to get accustomed to this approach in dating, I would feel like I would just be settling for whatever comes along. I wouldn't really be getting my pick of the litter. Of course, pursuing the ones that I fancy don't always work out, and I end up settling in the end. This cycle has to stop!

I think my mentality right now is I think I deserve what I want so there should be no reason to settle. Why shouldn't I get what I want? Why shouldn't I be picky and really start looking for the guys that possess all the qualities I desire? Settling is just the beginning of resentment. I don't want to be with someone while thinking of the "what if" situations with other guys. I've been there and it's not fair to either of us.

And sometimes I don't know what's worse... liking someone and feeling like it is not mutual, or having someone like you and you not feel the same way. Or how about this scenario... not knowing if someone feels the same way, or finding out years later that they felt the same way but now you can't do anything about it. This is a lesson I've learned and I know now to be more vocal about my feelings, even if it is risky. I just haven't figured out a good way of doing this yet.

It's been 4 years since I've been out of the game, and being thrown back into it has been fun yet, for a lack of a better term, "blah". I feel like I don't know how to approach these situations anymore. How do you flirt enough to let them know but not come on too strong? How do you find ways to spend more time together? How do you not end up completely taking on the "pursuer" role?

I'm not ready to settle down, but dating sucks :)

posted by che @ 8:09 AM